If you ever loved me.

If only this page were in a darker hue, maybe my eyes wouldnt strain so unbearing upon the pixels as they reflect off the streams on my cheeks.

Again and again, one by one. such a good little ant in my own accursed trail. I follow my own scent and get confused. I've broken my foot for two years and now it's back in use.

now.
what a pointless time,

now sits me in the hole i broke myself in intitially, merely one step outside. The dirt trodden under foot now sets me in front of my destined path and i can see the rays surmount and surround the freedom ive looked for so very long. the brilliance of the doorway blinds me in casts of gold as they reveal who i've always been. yet. i am here, i move so slowly.

i await. i desire.
i is so pointless.
if only you were so simple.

the constant battle of my heart and head, break me into something else instead. and i become as nothing, a smaller child. infantile in this world so wild.. so will you leave me here, is my plea to late?

will i be consumed or simply postpone the date.

i say not this time and nevermore for all, i've yet to use this leg so i, start to crawl.
please, you know me and you see me through. everything i've destroyed come awake it in to anew.

I solemnly swear to tell you everything, just free me.
help me stand. allow me to move.
oh Keeper of the Time. set your watch ahead. theres a much greater use for me instead.


I love you all and I always have. Humility comes with the destruction of pride and self worth. I know now what I have said and I prithee forgiveness.

Have mercy on me.
This is me at my most sincere, no dancing, beams or withholding fear.
If I make it through, you'll know me as you always have.
Till' then.
- Jer